February 2012
5 posts
WatchA journey to our cosmic horizon.
Pang
Opening that letter crippled me. I have never been so afraid of the future. I have always chastised those who are, and now I lay here anxious and overcome with fear. Please, just let me drown in this sea of green. I would rather pretend none of this ever happened than risk having what I dread most turn out to be true.
January 2012
10 posts
Ranting//
I remember being in elementary school and having a mock election paralleled to the one that was going on in the adult world. I remember anticipating the day that I could vote, the day that I could make a difference. I couldn’t wait to be older, because being older meant being more educated, and being more educated meant being smart and opinionated, and being that meant that my voice would...
Thinking is never a clear process. I need drugs for that. Suppression, suppression. All I do is feel. I feel through the day, and I feel through the darkness, and I search for the words to describe how I feel but seldom do they turn up.
2 tags
Maybe it was just the narcotics.
I drove my dad around to run some errands the other night. While we were at Walmart he admitted to me that he’ll miss me a lot when I leave next fall and that he and my mother had always thought I’d stay close to home and go to the community college. I was a bit surprised. Never before had he expressed this to me, and never had I been aware of their ‘plan’ for me. He was...
1 tag
Requiem: it was only just a dream.
Speak softly, speak softly, those treasures dripping from your mouth. Impossible to be thieved, and tough to be replicated. You could steal my soul with those sweet words. And when those eyes happen to glance my way, I feel your entire being reaching out to me. One moment, one immaculate moment, I swear, I swear, I will never forget when we climbed that mountain and turned our backs on the...
I wish I would meet some one who is very similar...
I like the person that I am, quite immensely.
Side note: I actually feel quite fortunate to have such a highly positive self-esteem. I feel like that’s hard to come by among those my age.
I know this might be perceived as conceited, but I’ve never known an other like myself. I just want a companion who possesses attributes that I possess; attributes which I greatly revere. I...
2 tags
The silver pane.
You can’t ever really observe yourself, or see yourself like the world sees you; not in real time, not even looking in a mirror. Too much information is left out. You lose a dimension. You’re only given one focus point. Two eyes aren’t enough. And then there’s the factor of your consciousness being aware of your self-observation. You’ll only ever see what you show...
December 2011
7 posts
1 tag
1 tag
I just found a handful of popcorn in my sock...
nataliebootlah:
Andrea, what did you do?
Wasn’t me dude… I have no recollection of doing such a thing. o.o
12.18.11 I will start tomorrow. I refuse to let my...
Barren garden.
The rivers here are dried up. We need to leave this place. You feel like a fledgling, in the nest. It’s fly or die, little one. This was never the place for us anyway. And whatever happened, to that warm embrace. Oh you entice me so. Those pheromones, that make me float. What thoughts, got in the way. What went through your mind, when I took a hold of your hand. Maybe this is the wrong...
November 2011
8 posts
2 tags
April 20, of next year.
Foals, at the Granada Theatre. Just a note to self. I must go.
3 tags
In the middle.
En media. I’ll be watching a movie perhaps, or just listening to the mindless jabber of those around me. Sometimes, I’m just sitting in class, everything’s all quiet, and I’ll just let my eyes and thoughts wander. They don’t always go to the most pleasant of places. It feels terrible sometimes. There are very, very few things I wish I could erase from memory. Though,...
2 tags
“No relation of a dream can convey the dream-sensation, that commingling of...”
– Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
Why don't I live in Europe? →
MTWTFSS WEEKDAY: a European clothing store that doesn’t have online shopping. Oh the sadness.
“Pick apart the pieces of your heart and let me peer inside. Let me in, where...”
– “Hearts a Mess” - Gotye
October 2011
11 posts
How did I let this happen.
I need to end this terrible cycle of self-sabotage that I’ve fallen into. I never get anything done, or done right, and I’m not living up to my full potential. I’ve been neglecting my schoolwork, my studies, and my college applications, and it’s gotten way out of control. I’m putting my foot down. Right now.
This is the end. This will be my last all-nighter. No more...
“I fall in love for at least three hours with anyone who engages me in real...”
– “The Appeal of The Androgynous Man” - Amy Gross
“While you were hanging yourself on someone else’s words,
dying to believe...”
– Pink Floyd
3 tags
When I'm avoiding homework and run out of other...
6 tags
I come alive in the nighttime.
4 tags
I'm too damn paranoid.
No Mom, no. I’m okay to drive. Just please stop talking. Please drop the subject. It’s not that simple. No, I can’t do that. That’s just not how it works. Why must you be so insistent?
From the few things I’ve ever mentioned about him, I suppose now I can understand why you would want me to do such a thing.
It’s all so very ideal in our minds. I suppose....
September 2011
21 posts
1 tag
Why is applying to college so damn expensive..
“PLEASE GIVE US YOUR MONEY, SO WE CAN TELL YOU WHETHER OR NOT YOU’RE SMART ENOUGH TO GIVE US EVEN MORE OF YOUR MONEY.”
Struggles.
I cannot bring myself to admit any sort of weakness, or vulnerability. No matter how strong the impulse, the words aren’t vocalized, the send button isn’t pressed. This is the best I can do. These words, right here. This is as far as I can go.
3 tags
Infant morning.
Glowing lights all around, surround. Some how, a peace settles in. Heavy eyes, aimless thoughts. Honey sweet harmonics, surround. Four suns, four identical orbs, hang before me. Almost blindingly bright. I throw a sheet over them, and bathe in the warm afterglow. For the moment, nothing else is of importance. Nothing, will take this moment away. There is no existence outside these wall. Simply...
3 tags
Infant morning.
Glowing lights all around, surround. Some how, a peace settles in. Heavy eyes, aimless thoughts. Honey sweet harmonics, surround. Four suns, four identical orbs, hang before me. Almost blindingly bright. I throw a sheet over them, and bathe in the warm afterglow. For the moment, nothing else is of importance. Nothing, will take this moment away. There is no existence outside these wall. Simply...
Everything I touch turns to dust.
4 tags
